September 16, 2004

What's With All The Chicken Metaphors?

Slate is kind enough to read Kitty Kelley's book for us.

It's some totally awesome stuff. All kinds of great revelations. My favorites included the revelation that Georgie wasn't an "ass man" in college and that his Texas friends all called tony, all-male Andover "Bend Over" (Bush failed to let them know he was captain of the cheerleading squad.)

Not only was Laura the "go to girl" for dime bags, but she, Georgie and Sandy Koufax attended "pot parties" in the Carribean together. She is also a "very troubled woman who smokes constantly."

Bush also liked to play a game called "pig ball" in which you throw a football into the air and then strangle other players. Very good training for running the kind of aimless and ruthlessly violent campaigns Bush is so famous for.

But the best bit, for me, are these two anecdotes of men far wittier than George W, and both involve chicken metaphors.

From Prescott Bush, on whether W was really dedicated to going to Yale: "It's the difference between ham and eggs. The chicken is involved. The pig is committed."

And from Lyndon Johnson, to George H.W. Bush on whether or not to give up his House seat to run for the Senate: "[The] difference between being a member of the Senate and a member of the House is the difference between chicken salad and chicken shit."

What I love most about these jokes is that they show so plainly the difference between a New Englander and a Texan. Bush is sober and witty, Johnson is foul-mouthed and hilarious. As much as I admire wit, I have to pick Lyndon over Prescott anyday. But then, I come from the foul-mouthed Rocky Mountains, so what do I know?


  1. Anonymous8:54 AM

    you shoudn't be saying those things because kids may look up some metaphors 4 school work

  2. the gril behind the door8:57 AM

    duh who would do that on a web site that little kids would see and get in trouble for looking up metaphors